


Rituals

by missmaddie



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, ocd mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 19:06:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4636818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmaddie/pseuds/missmaddie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jace and Alec have their rituals, have since they were children. Things have changed, highlighted by Jace's affection and Alec's acceptance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rituals

Jace drags a rag down the length of the seraph blade as Alec dries the tips of his arrows. He feels the fondess Alec's company usually inspired bubble up in his chest.

This was a ritual of theirs that had started when they were young. Alec had found Jace after his first training session since coming from Idris. 

He had been near tears, scrubbing his clean enough (if you ask Alec) blade furiously, trembling. 

"Jace?" He'd asked, walking closer, and sitting beside him. 

He didn't like Jace. He was competitive and angsty and too young to be anything other than another responsibility for Alec. 

But he cried like Izzy. .

"Are you alright?" 

Jace tensed, blade ready, but dropped it back into his lap when he saw it was only Alec. 

"I didn't think anyone else was around." 

"Jace. Are you alright?" He asked again, leaning in. 

Jace nods and curls further into himself. And really, that was his cue to leave. To stop pressing and not get any closer to the strange golden boy from Idris. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Jace shook his head frantically, pursed his lips, and his blonde hair fell haphazardly into his eyes.

"Are you hurt? Do I need to get my mom?"

Jace's bulged out. "No!"

Alec wasn't above playing dirty. "If you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't help, and then I'm gonna have to get my mom." 

"...I -I can't get my blade clean."

Alec couldn't hide his shock. "That's it?"

"You don't get it. My dad - It needs to be clean. 52 times. It needs to be clean." Jace muttered the last bit to himself as he reached for the blade and started counting under his breath. 

"1...2...3..4" Between every number, he let our a ragged breath and scrubbed faster, he let out a heart clenching sob, and lost count. "1.."

"Jace." He placed a gentle hand on his wrist, slowing the boy. He covers his hand with his own, leading it up and down the blade.

Alec counts quietly, aloud, until they get to 52. Jace wasn't crying anymore, and was looking down at his blade like it had killed his father- Alec understood, right then. Like many things about Jace Wayland, this was about his father.   
They do the other side.

A tradition was born then. After each mission, after every patrol, Alec and Jace would hole themselves up in the weapons room, sitting in silence, the only sound the cloth on blade and Jace's whispered counting. 

Things weren't very different now. A few adventures and last names hadn't changed much between them. 

Sometimes they'd talk about Valentine or Sebastian, about Alec's nightmares (he was drowning, always drowning and reaching) or what was affectionately referred to as "Malec". Of it's implosion. 

Or Jace's nightmares. Of leaning over Clary and stabbing her with her own blade, of strangling Izzy with her whip, or piercing an arrowhead threw Alec's collar bone, where their parabatai rune lay. Of Sebastian's laughter. 

They talked about Clary's new boyfriend, a werewolf from Queens who "didn't like the way Jace smelt". Like 409 and boy sweat. They never talked about Alec's crush or the way Jace had to tie his shoes.

Jace puts down his blade and turns to Alec. 

"That was 31." Alec notes, eyebrows raised. 

"I'll clean it again later," he dismisses, turning his body so he was facing Alec completely. 

"With your good rags?"

"And my Lysol spray Izzy got me."

"I don't know why she encourages you."

"Cause she doesn't want to live in filth, Alec."

"My room isn't even that dirty!"

"Alec?" 

"Yes?"

He thought of all the times they'd sat there before and everything they'd told each other. 

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"In general or because of the cleaning?"

"Cleaning."

"No crazier then I am for my panic attacks." 

Jace swallows and reaches for Alec's hand, squeezing. Sometimes he felt crazy. When Clary gave him that look as he bounced a quarter off his bed to test the corners and flickered the lights off three times for luck. Or when she'd tracked mud in the institute and they'd fought for hours, when she'd actually called him crazy. 

A little validation was nice. 

"Are you alright?"

"I'm thinking."

"Oh. I wasn't aware you could think and breath at the same time."

"Wow, okay Smart-Alec." 

Alec rolls his eyes but laughs anyway. Jace smiles, delighted at Alec's joy. Since Magnus had gotten with Raphael, it had been scarce. 

"Seriously though. What're you thinking about? Which cleaner works best on demon blood?"

"Shut up." Us. I'm thinking about us, he wants to say. He'd been wanting to say it for a while. How his eyes lingered over the different Alec that had come back from Edom, how his heart freaked every time Alec sorted the green fruit loops from his cereal. 

Jace had very strong opinions about the green fruit loops. Green things in general, honestly-

"Jace?" 

He joltes back. "Yeah?"

"You looked far away again. Are you alright? Was my Lysol joke shitty?"

"We tease. We're assholes, so no. I'd be offended if you didn't." He tries to smile. 

They teased. They joked. They were Alec and Jace. He swallows. Would kissing ever a Jace and Alec thing?

He squeezes Alec's hand. Again. Since they'd gotten back, he'd been mildly obsessed with Alec's hands. And eyes. They were so blue. A good blue, like the best kind of fruit loops. 

Alec squeezes his hand. "I really am sorry. I can't tell when we're being serious." He says, like Jace didn't feel the exact same way all the time.

Jace shrugs and looks down. His parabatai. Of all people. His parabatai got stuck under his skin. 

Not of course, to say he hadn't loved Clary. A love so strong to move the earth and the stars, too strong to be told no. Teenage rebellion in pseudo incest. But she had green eyes- how long were they supposed to last? 

But Alec, Alec had blue eyes. Lucky blue eyes that never creased when he flickered off the light switch a few extra time or released panic breaths when he couldn't remember if he had locked the door or not. No. Alec only rubbed his back and counted slowly, to 52. 

The truth pushed at his throat like bile. Eager to rise and fall into Alec's lap. Maybe it actually was vomit. 

"Alec," he starts, trying not to think about vomit,"you know how I take my coffee. How I like my cereal."

"Well, yeah. Three creamers, two spoonfuls of sugar and no green bits."

"Dont interrupt," Jace chides,"I'll loose my nerve'

"When have you ever had a shortage of nerve."

"Alec!" He whines. He needs to get it out, before the words choke him to death in his bed or while he's watching a movie. 

"Alright, Alright, keep going."

"Thanks for the permission. And that's another thing. We've got a banter. A good one. And you're not weird about me being weird." 

"Its not weird," Alec defended immediately, gripping Jace hard. Alec remembered holding Jace in his arms after his fight with Clary, how he'd shook and muttered "crazy" over and over. He remembers the spark of something the blonde hadn't made him feel in a long time. 

"...It is though. But you try and make it manageable, make my life manageable. Once, Clary said I make you sharper. I bring you into focus. You chase away my blurriness too. The static in my head." He frowns. "That came out wrong. You- you don't make it go away, you make it, you make it smaller. Like its something that won't eat me alive. Am I making sense?"

Alec nods slowly, rubbing his thumb over the top of Jace's hand. 

"Are you alright?" He asks, not stopping or letting go. 

"Yeah." 

"Good." He breathed, "then we can focus on this. Can I kiss you?" 

And for a moment, Jace forgot about blades and numbers. Everything was blue, if only for a moment. 

Alec pulls back and grins, untangling their hands and picking up Jace's blade, ready to finish their ritual.


End file.
